The Most Dangerous Conspiracy Theory

The Most Dangerous Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy theories are springing up like angry gnats. You swat at them but there's always more. Sadly, weak-minded people actually believe these lurid ideas.

Just when I thought I had heard them all, a new and extremely dangerous theory has taken hold of gullible minds. Citing dubious science and supposed 'ancient texts', the proponents claim that the human body is protected by a magical force they call the ‘Immune System’.

Yes, this ‘theory’ states that the ‘Immune System’ comes pre-installed in our bodies and is composed of an army of microscopic warriors that protect us from disease. Seriously!

Not only that, but this ‘Immune System’ can actually be strengthened by healthy food, sunlight, exercise and vitamins.

It's obvious that these disinformation peddlers are just trying to make money. Imagine what huge profits they can rake in from vitamins, gym memberships and vegetables. A tomato can cost up to $5!!

Sadly, many of the hoodwinked are elderly. They claim to have learned about this magical microscopic army in school. But, of course back when they went to school, all sorts of silly notions were taught as facts, like fresh air being good for you.

Fortunately, the rest of us, who take our health advice from computer scientists, realize that this theory is pure fiction. Educated people are grateful that the pharmaceutical industry has selflessly provided us with shots and drugs - our only true protection from the multitude of diseases in our extremely dangerous, germ-infested world.

As more and more and worse and worse diseases are showing up all the time, we should attempt to squash the ‘Immune System’ theory once and for all. According to the latest forecast from the Center for Ridiculously Appalling Predictions, 59,511,224,551.35 deaths will occur next month if we do not stop this evil conspiracy theory!!

So let's all do our part — go to your social media account and expose these shameless lies. Cancel the instigators! Make sure Grandma stays locked up and don’t forget to throw away your tomatoes. We are all in this together!